The Jadded and Departed.

My 14-day school week has taken a toll on my health, performance and mood. With 5 more days to go , I'm quite the wreck. But I'll survive - like i always do.

I'll pick up where i left off. The two-sentenced entry that had defeat clinging to every syllabul.But right now, I wont go into why but Friday left me exhausted, mopey and dreading the three days of Mazarin camp that loomed ahead.

Saturday came and puffy-eyed, jadded Farah Bawany reluctantly dragged her beat body to the Research Center ready to have her nerves, immune, physical endurance, resilliance and mental health tested by a team of what seemed to be cocaine-high gibbons in heat prancing about in bermudas, scaling the floor like it was a rock-wall, preaching the "work in excelence" and more gibberish about leadership-blah-blah-blah.

Someone spell Pessimist.Thanks.

But as the day inched on, from 5-way tug-of-wars, journaling sessions and over 380 squats, I came to realise and sheepishly admitted that the jadded me found a camp that actually helped and mattered.

Surprising ,no?

Our facilitator Ian was such a darling. Thank god he wasnt one of the over-excited steroidal ones. He was the inspirational architype trainer. My team did not consist of Balaji and Timothy .Although i was previously in raptures that i was working with them, i'm not complaining that i didnt.

My brilliant team consisted of (i appologise in advance for mispelt names) Vincent, Zing Zhi, Charlene, Yu Hui, Lin Shuang, Fu Kang, Ting Hui, Pei Shan, Carol, Ajit, Ardesh and Elisse. And of course myself and facil - Ian.

Saturday was spent team-building and we went through what we call the Norming and Storming Stages. I cant possibly list all the activities . I'll just put it this way. It tested us physically . A lot. And if you happen to notice how much i resent physical excercise, (major euphemism there) you would know how badly 380 squats still hurts. Ouuucch.

One activity that had an impact was the feedback sessions especially the one where , get this, we had to rate the top three leaders in our group and the bottom three. This was followed by a sharing session where each of us had to tell the group who we selected and why. No sugar-coating allowed. Okay. It sounds not tooo bad here. But trust me. When round-eyed teenagers with make-or-brake confidence look at you with sparks of hope dancing in the centers of their eyes, you feel pretty much like crap telling them that he/she is the worst.

Thankfully, the kids who were voted bottom three by quite a few took it amazingly well. Plus, it was constructive feedback. But still! I am so proud of them. And what i loved was the paradigm shift in gourp dynamics afterwards. Our group was suddenly so close-knit and steaming with excellent camaraderie.

Another activity was when we had to "handle conflicts". I really liked this part becasue it taught me a lot about conflict and how we, as leaders, can stop 'tension' from escalating to 'crisis'. And it even applies between friends and especially when you are in a relationship. We know communication is key. It is about learning how to communicate towards a win-win situation.

What we did, was to sit in a circle and basically tell whoever it was that you're uncomfortable with why and what was causing this discomfort. In my group, it was more of classmates trying to clear bad blood. I had one person calling another 'abnormal' and i was quite tickled. Still am actually. Haha.

It wasnt at all horrifying. It felt good getting things off our chest and bad feelings that were simmering just, dissolved. Poof. In another group however, there were tempers flaring and tears shed. But i'm fairly confident they felt better after.

Today, we concluded with another game and celebrations. And i think the main lesson learnt was the concept of winning. Points wise, my group was last. It was quite funny cos we lagged behind the winners by hundreds of points. But we had the winning idea (and the winning attitude) that many groups copied after. While it took ages for us to actually act, our final product though disappointing at first became quite encouraging.

Finally we celebrated the Teejay way. Go on. Guess.

Of course. Mass dance and cheers:)

During our final feedback session , facil-Ian actually cried. And it was really touching. So yes, the jadded Farah departed and the one who was really passionate returned from last year!

Meanwhile, Ive got a long, long week ahead. Tomorrow in fact, Ive got a Mock SPA.

I'm actually thinking about listing '5 sources of error' and '5 Suggestions for improvements' that i have to memorise here. But i'd drive the mickey out your ass doing that, wouldnt i?

That's all for now,

Conquering 5 days of hell,

Farah:)

PS: Special thank you and sorry to Maurice. I love you:) Thanks for putting up with my crap and talking me through my conundrum. I'm gonna miss you when you go back to Perth. I promise promise promise we're going to get to spend more time together this month okay? And i'm booking you for sheesha with Nad next week.

Love, King Julian

Today

Speaking words of wisdom. Let it be, let it be.

high on gasoline

Elo Elo! Yes, i am back. With a transilvanian accent that cannot make it leh. Nevertheless, back and kicking.

Don't ask me who or what i owe my brilliant mood to but im pretty much happiness personified. At least for now.

Maybe, its because i'm on my last two antibiotics! No, not quite. I still feel like a seal trapped in a washing machine. Dont mind my not very lucid analogies. They are the product of a hard day's work and a lot of water. They don't make sense. Nothing in this post would make much sense. Then again, Bush doesnt make much sense. But we still love him, no? :)

Perhaps, its because i charmed my way out of Mazarin so that i can go for dramadramadrama! (Here is where a jealous classmate with a crush on a particular Maths teacher screams "sarka!". I think she was trying to say Suck-Up. Oh well. Tomato, potato, eh?

Moving on...

As for some of you who bother reading what i must confess is a blog quite the entertainment ( i dont care if you beg to differ ) , you would know that i was a rambling whore high on cocaine in my last post. No, just testing. I was sick. Horribly, terribly, terrifyingly sick. Oh, the bubonic plaguueeee. Lord, save me.

Not quite.

But yes, i was sick. While that gave me an opportunity to neglect college for a bit, it gave me the even more treasured opportunity to get my batteries re-charged, bloodstream re-drugged and more make-up PE's. Oh, joy.

It also gave me time to watch the highly anticipated " Across The Universe"! This is the part where i turn into a blabbering, befuddled, nincompoop with a neurotic Movie-Nova persona.

I'll spare you. But i cannot leave it as that.

Across the Universe has by far the best ideas, imagery, allusions, allegory, editing, acting, lyrics, singing, musical arrangments, colours, effects, chemistry and human relationships put together in a tapestry of bloody genuity leaving you stunned, starved and gasping for MORE for a hundred and thirty mind blowing minutes.

Its a gritty, whimisical , theatrical mind-fest that promises to change your life. From the imagination of director Julie Taymore and featuring acting and singing of Jim Sturgess, Evan Rachel Wood, Bono, and the very sexy Joe Anderson and my favourite Eddie Izzard. he acts as a drug-high Mr.Kite. The scene was just confusing in a way never so appealing before. Im probably not making sense. Think Tim Burton's idealistic orgy of a scene. Zany, psychedelic and totally like far out dude.

The movies tag line is "All you need is love". It is a classic. A montage of the Beatles' songs rearranged and re-sung brilliantly without being massacred (Now, thats a feat). It is set during the turbulent anti-vietnam war riots that raged america in the 60's. Think hippies with a cause. Make love, not war baby!

Okay. Appologies for eventually still turning into the blabbering, befuddled Movie-Nova.

Back to reality and the point on dramadramadrama,we had our first session on Wednesday! It was a brilliant success and of course i have my super-human EXCO to thank and our brilliant teachers and one very important person. Of course , not to mention all the kids who turned up! It was fantabulous.

While we went on rounds of games and food, we also learned a lot about each other's fantastic or not so fantastic bowel movements and other quirks that are so unique to the genteel, lovely, shy homosapiens who roam the world of drrrama.

Oh, oh, revalation! A junior came up to me and said "you know, i used to do this gig with dragqueens, and they used this perfume. I think, you smell like them". Farah thinks aloud, "Why, thanks dear, that just solved one of my life's biggest mysteries". Of course after i sought the brand of perfume they used (Victoria's Secret) , i was releived to find out it was an olfactory error cos i sport either Ralph Lauren, Vera Wang or Armani ( Though my favourite brand is Escada - In case you dont know what to get me for my Birthday, Valentine's day, Chinese New Year..)

So yes . very pleased. very very pleased.

Of course, i am not looking forward to spending the rest of my weekend in school mulling over Mazarin. At least i can be grateful that my mentor is darling Miss N and i get to work with Timothy and Balaji!

Alrighty then, i think that was one hellava post. What do you think count dracula?

Yez, yez. Eet vas a brilliant pozt. Ha Ha Ha (think sesame st. count's laughter. yes the stunted one which makes him sound like he is getting spanked by elmo while he laughs)

flying on my motorcylce, watching all the ground beneath me drop.

love,

farah.

Pictures that stuck and songs that stained. Listen to strawberry fields.

Sandman's Curse

Today started off excelent. A ridiculous game of hangman in the marquee, juice and cookies.

However, soon enough, the bitch called my immune system caught up with a damn vengance. My throat is plagued with red fire ants marching up and down my trachea , sinking their sharp whatnots into me. I swear, if my tonsills were'nt already gone, i'd be sitting in a hospital room having my last meal before tomorrow's surgery.

My lips are chapped and purple. My mouth - red. My eyelids perpetually looming over my sulphur-tinted eyes. To top it all off, a throbbing migraine, vertigo, prickling skin and an exhausted, weak frame.

The lack of water and sleep took its course once again. Yes Karan, 330ml of water over two days does not suffice. Neither does 5 hours of sleep. :(

Mr Lim persisted that i went home midway through my double chem ( which i have to admit was not half as unbearable as i imagined - then again, that could be due to the fact that i was not quite concious ).

But yes, TGIF. Then again, the weekend only means more work. I will bear the brunt of my carlessness while the 21st century's rendition of bubonic plague comsumes me whole.

Tonight, i will quit playing peek-a-boo with my beloved chemistry homework and actually complete what seems to be an incomprehensible string of letters, numbers, graphs and anything vile and revolting put together in perfect lines and columns by our dear, dear Chem department.

Afterwhich, i will indulge in rhapsodies of self-praise and unwind to a warm glass of milk, midnight wind, Nat King Cole and Xanax. ( No , Xanax is not anime. Its a tranquiliser that should either knock me out cold or keep me awake coupled by a frozen, corpse-like body. I'm praying for the former, dreading the latter.)

Good-Bye One and all. Here's to a potentialy fruitful weekend.

Plagued,

Farah.

Sticky Keys

Ola!

A promise is a promise. I promised to update.So here i am, as promised, updating.

As you can tell, that sentence just should'nt have made sense. It just goes to show how awfuly exhauted i am. If it seemed completely comprehensible to you, then , you must be exhauted.

The last time i wrote was the eve of the first day of school. About 9 days ago.And..

In a nut-shell: Crash Orientation Groups. Go for lectures. Mass Dance. Suntec. Attempt to write script. Attempt. Attempt. Attempt. Cough out script. SC changes script. Attempt to write new script. Get a script. Pretend to lose Script. Freak SC out. On stage. First scene. Really lose script. Freak out. Script found. Excellent Emceeing. Kudos Mike n I. Official resignation from emceeing. Good Bye SC. oh, and good luck too. :)

After O-Nite was a roller coaster of homework, new tutors, lessons, new time table, going broke, drama. drama. drama. and drama.

For PDP exhibition day, we decided to re-enact out humanities day excerpt of Midsummer NIght's dream. It was pleasently nostalgic but admittedly tough to get together. But in the end, it all worked out well enough. We have close to 40 people on our sign up list and i am itching to get started with the juniors next week. How exciting!

Jumping back in time, O-Nite really was excellent. According to many, its the best emceeing they've ever seen Mike & I do. So , Hooray!

Meanwhile,(sorry bout the perpetual astro-travel) I have reluctantly decided to scrap the whole new CIP idea. Work is piling up and refering back to resolutions , i am to constantly keep ahead of school's schedule while catching up on last year's work. Its working so far- but with way too much effort. I guess i'll find a way around it. eventually.

So yes, this post did not come close to doing my week any justice whatsoever.But i really can't bother to ammend it.Sorry. But i will leave it with excellent music found on the new best radio station in Singapore; 91.3 FM!

Just to clear things up on behalf of Rodney Montero , the other deejays and my failing dignity, 91.3 is NO longer radio heart or WKRZ. Its no longer an Ah-Beng station. Instead, it spins great pop,rock,hip-hop,electronic and dance beats from the 90's till today.Never more than two ads in a row!*spastic comercial smile*

But seriously, check it out. it really is great stuff :)

Ooh. Ooh. I hear Mr.Ice-cream man :) Excuse me while i go make sweet passionte and hurried love to Chinese Ice Cream slapped between two peices of coloured bread. How Orgasmic.

Resolutions

Happy new Years everybody. I'm suffering from a throbbing migraine so i'm gonna make this a really short and sweet post.

First thing first. New Year's Eve was a freaking BLAST.

Went to the arena. the music was thumping and the live performance was fantabulous. The crowd was great too. Unbeleivable.

After that blast, i came home at four and got blasted by mum. But hell, it was worth it. Now , i'm grounded till i get married. Oh, i love my mother.

But that brings me to my next point. Resolutions. There are things that i really want to change, habits i want to kick and habits i want to start. And this year, i feel that 2008 marks a point where i am really ready to make those changes and be a better me.

First of all, i am going to try to keep the arena as the last club for the year till after my A's. No more partying. More sobering up , getting focused and getting ready for the ride from hell.

I am going to stick to a daily regime. Pump up on fruits , vitamins and water. I'm not going to say i'll start exercising cos that'll just be wishful thinking. On the other hand, i am going to try my bestest to go out for my night jogs again :)

Free periods no longer equates to chit chating and slacking away 50 minutes of what could be good revision time.No more falling asleep in chem or physics lectures no matter how boring and stupifying they might get.no, will get.

As for people around me, i am going to start spending more time with people who appreciate me for who i am. No more pretenses or forced civility. For my sake, i am officialy staying away from negative people who tend to get me down. I wont ignore them. But i think less of their company would be better.

Meanwhile, i want to use my free time ( if there is any ) with drama club, close friends and definitely family. I promise to watch my rudeness . Especially with mum. I know i can be so oblivious as to how grateful i really should be. She's the best thing in my world. I cant imagine surviving without her. Also, i am keeping more time aside for God. I hope to finish reading the arabic Koran (not the translation) by my A's.

Basicaly, i am going to construct a condusive, healthy, happy environment.

My priorities this year are my studies, drama, family and friends. Not quite in that order. We'll go by ear.

All i know, is i am shit scared but a part of me is really excited about drama and also getting my A's finally over and done with!

so,

more of this

and less of this

Much Love,

Stepping into a new year of school,

Farah :)

Nostalgia overload.

I guess the year has crawled to a halt. And tonight we'll all step out of 2007 with the lessons learnt, ready to embrace 2008. Personally, 2008 spells out one thing. Hectic Hectic Hectic. Peering at my timetable, i find myself glad that i end school on most days by 2 or 3 which is a far leap from how i used to drag myself out of college by 5 on average.

Looking Back, 2007 is probably one of those years in my life that make one hellava difference. I guess you could say my year came to a full circle.

This year celebrated a lot of the things i stand for and am passionate about. Im a fairly well rounded student - I managed to contribute a lot to the college as well as to a greater society.

Also, there were moments that i could say were amoung the worst in my life. But thinking back, its the ones that felt like the best times ever that stand out.

Love found. I guess although the relationship is over, my relationship with my ex was fortunately salvaged through what was a complete wreck . There is no love lost. Just found.

The people who made a difference as always, are the people who i love . My friends and more importantly, this year, my family. I know where i really belong.My identity became an important part of my life in the second half of this year. I learnt who i am and i am so proud to be me. My values, principles and faith have never been so strong and its safe to say that i am exhilerated to be where i am right now.

I just guess i have God to thank.And my family.And of course my friends.

I also have a couple of very special teachers who had an impact on year. And i am so grateful.:)

Highilight of the year

Midsummer's Nights Dream was the highlight of my year. It really was a dream come true (as corny as that sounds). But yea, it was a pinacle of success in 2007. I found me somewhere there. I think im gonna leave the rest of this to photographs cos i cant imagine anything better that could assist my sudden lost for words thanks to a "nostalgia overload".

My Surprise Bdae Party

Drama Outing

Xiang's Party

Dance Concert at NUS

Amal,Lubna and Aisya before they grew up

Achala And WenHui's Surprise "BBQ" A random outing to BK

15/07Diwali At Achu's

and of course greece,turkey n london which concluded 2007.

Another post for resolutions but for now, Happy New Year's all. :)

Love,

Farah.